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Fortune-Mod

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Fortune-Mod

The notorious Fortune Cookie Program from BSD games.

Installation

Root terminal 48px.png
# pacman-g2 -S fortune-mod


Usage

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune
 La science (comme la chimie) est de nos jours internationale et 
 mondiale; les communications, les informations, les échanges de 
 biens ainsi que la pollution franchissent les frontières et 
 inondent notre globe.
 Ceci implique une solidarité mondiale croissante ou des choix au 
 niveau mondial. En sommes-nous conscients ?
 	-+- Joachim Charles Hitzke -+-

Also frequently used as input for cowsay :

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune | cowsay
  _______________________________________ 
 / T-shirt Of The Day:                   \
 |                                       |
 | I'm the person your mother warned you |
 \ about.                                /
  --------------------------------------- 
         \   ^__^
          \  (oo)\_______
             (__)\       )\/\
                 ||----w |
                 ||     ||

Some screensavers use fortune as input text generator.


The french mod, fortunes-fr

Installation

Root terminal 48px.png
# pacman-g2 -S fortunes-fr


Useage

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune cinema
 Jean Claude Camille Francois VanDamme : "Mes autres prénoms sont Camille
 et François. J'aime bien Camille, non ? Ça fait "old fashion", tu
 trouves pas ? Ça respire le meuble de provence !"
 	-+- Jean-Claude Vandamme -+-


The mods

fortune-mod-kernelcookies

A collection of funny (or strange) lines from the Linux kernel for fortune

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune kernelcookies
 printk("Penguin %d is stuck in the bottle.\n", i);
         linux-2.0.38/arch/sparc/kernel/smp.c


fortune-mod-bofh-excuses

BOFH ( Bastard Operator From Hell ) excuses

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune bofh-excuses
 BOFH excuse #279:
 The static electricity routing is acting up...


fortune-mod-humorix

Quotes from Humorix

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune humorix-stories
 Jargon Coiner (#8)
 
 An irregular feature that aims to give you advance warning of new jargon
 that we've just made up.
 
 * STAR SPINOFFS: Applying themes and ideas from "Star Wars" and "Star
   Trek" to contemporary events. 
 
   Examples: "Let the Source be with you!", "Microsoft is the Evil Empire",
   "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated by Microsoft". 
 
 * TRADEMARKIZATION(tm): Giving a phrase special meaning by appending a
   trademark symbol to it.  
 
   Examples: "Think Free Speech, Not Free Beer(tm)", "Real Soon Now(tm)",
   "Blue Screen of Death(tm)"
User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune humorix-misc
 The best Windows accelerator is that which works at 9.81 m/s2 
 
    -- From a Slashdot.org post


fortune-mod-friends

Quotes from TV series Friends

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune friends
 Joey: So Pheebs what's this guy like?
 
 Phoebe: Umm, well he's very dashing, y'know, and umm, very, very
 sophisticated, and he doesn't speak any English, but according to
 his translator, he totally gets me.
 
 
                               Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"


fortune-mod-familyguy

Quotes from tv cartoon Family Guy

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune familyguy
 [Cleveland considers killing Quagmire with a baseball bat, while Meg, Chris, Stewie, Lois, and Emperor Palpatine watch] 
 Emperor Palpatine:  Good. Let the hate flow through you. [Lois pushes him to the ground and kicks him] 
 Lois Griffin:  You're not helping!


fortune-mod-calvin

Quotes from comic Calvin et hobbes

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune familyguy
  Wormwood : Calvin, how about you?  
  Calvin : Hard to say ma'am. I think my cerebellum just fused.


fortune-mod-chucknorris-fr

French quotes from chucknorris facts

{{console|fortune chucknorris

 Indiana Jones a survécu à l'explosion d'une bombe nucléaire en se cachant dans un frigo. Chuck Norris a survécu à la chute de l'astéroïde qui pulvérisa les dinosaures en mettant un k-way.


fortune-mod-futurama

Quotes from tv cartoon Futurama

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune futurama
  Bender: Hey, that's my last beer, you bastard. I'll kill you! 
  Fry: I'll kill you too, buddy, I'll kill you too.


fortune-mod-futurama-fr

French quotes from tv cartoon Futurama

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune futurama-fr
 Bender (entrant avec les enfants dans un bar) : Bon, y a tout ce qu'il vous faut ici, de l'alcool, des cacahuètes, y a des toilettes, vous y allez souvent aux toilettes vous les bébés humains je crois...
 Les enfants : Oui
 Bender : Alors éclatez vous!


fortune-mod-chalkboard

Quotes from chalkboard of Bart Simpson in tv cartoon The Simpsons

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune chalkboard
 I WILL NOT BURP IN CLASS
 I WILL NOT BURP IN CLASS
 I WILL NOT BURP IN CLASS
 I WILL NOT BURP IN CLASS
 
 	Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 7G04


fortune-mod-discworld

Quotes from Discworld news by Terry Pratchett

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune discworld
 Using a metaphor in front of men as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red rag in front of a bu -- was like putting something very annoyting in front of someone who was annoyed by it.
 (Lords and Ladies)


fortune-mod-fgump

Quotes from movie Forrest Gump

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune fgump
 Army Sergeant: "Gump, what is your sole purpose in this army?" 
 Forrest Gump: "To do whatever you tell me, Drill Sergeant!" 
 Army Sergeant: "Gump, you are a @#$%&! genius"..


fortune-mod-hitchhiker

Quotes from Guide Hitchhikers to the galaxy of Douglas Adams

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune hitchhiker
 "He dropped his voice still lower. In the stillness, a fly 
 would not have dared clear its throat. 


fortune-mod-starwars

Quotes from Star Wars

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune starwars
 Darth Vader:
 	Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-wan has taught
 	you well. You have controlled your fear. Now,
 	release your anger! Only your hatred can destroy me!


fortune-mod-xfiles

Quotes from TV series X-files

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune xfiles
 Frohike: So, Mulder, where's your little partner?
 Mulder: She wouldn't come. She's afraid of her love for you.
 
 	"The X-Files: Blood"


fortune-mod-xfiles-fr

French quotes from tv series X-files

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune xfiles-fr
 Mulder : Un rêve est comme une réponse à une question qu'on ne se pose pas encore.


fortune-mod-tolkien-fr

French quotes from Lord of the rings and Bilbo the Hobbit of JRR Tolkien.

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune tolkien_fr
 Cherche l'épée qui fut brisée:
 A Imladris elle se trouve;
 Des conseils seront pris
 Plus forts que les charmes de Morgul.
 Un signe sera montr
 Que le destin est proche,
 Car le fléau d'Isildur se réveillera,
 Et le Semi-Homme se dressera.
                 -- J.R.R. Tolkien, "La Communauté de l'Anneau"


fortune-mod-powerpuff

Quotes from tv cartoon PowerPuff Girls

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune powerpuff
 Boogie Man: So tell me. When things get creepy.
 Crowd: Blame it on the boogie!
 Boogie Man: When things get spooky.
 Crowd: Blame it on the boogie!
 Boogie Man: And when things get freaky, funky, and nasty.
 Crowd: BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE!!


fortune-mod-southpark

Quotes from tv cartoon Southpark

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune SP
 Oh my god, they killed Kenny!
 
 You bastards!


fortune-mod-southpark-fr

french quotes from tv cartoon Southpark

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune southpark-fr
 Ms. Crabtree : Dépêchez-vous, on est très en retard !
 Stan : Tous les jours on est en retard vieille conne.
 Ms. Crabtree : Qu'est ce que tu as osé dire ?
 Stan : C'est Halloween, j'ai hâte que minuit sonne.
 Ms. Crabtree : Oh, moi c'est pareil.

fortune-mod-oneliners

Quotes from OneLiners

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune oneliners
 If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?


fortune-mod-the-godfather

Quotes from The Godfather.

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune the-godfather
 "Mr. Corleone is a man who insists on hearing bad news at once."
 		-- Tom Hagen, "Chapter 1", page 62

fortune-mod-himym

Quotes from TV series "How I met your mother".

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune HIMYM
 Barney: Here's the plan, and I crap you not! I'm getting us into the Victoria's 
 Secret Halloween party. Trust me, by the end of the night, your chad will not be 
 hanging.


fortune-mod-tbbt

Quotes from TV series "The Big Bang Theory".

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune tbbt
 Leonard: What got into him? 
 Penny: Oh, a couple of virgin Cuba Libres who turned out to be a little slutty. 
 Leonard: You didn't. 
 Penny: You do your little experiments, I do mine.

fortune-mod-house

Quotes from TV series "House MD".

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune house
 Dr. House: Foreman, you gotta steal this thing for me!
 Dr. Foreman: Oh, let me ring up one of the homies.
      – Cane and Able (3.02) 

fortune-mod-house-fr

Quotes in french from TV series "House MD".

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune house-fr
 Mère de la patiente : On va pas lui infliger une intervention inutile
 House : Ou une maman un peu idiote
      – Hugh Laurie, Dr House, saison 3, épisode 9 (Rendez vous avez Judas)

fortune-mod-torchwood

Quotes from TV series "Torchwood".

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune torchwood
 Ianto: I blame it on magic mushrooms.
 Jack: What you do in private is none of our business.
     — Series 1, Episode 5, Small Worlds 

fortune-mod-linuxfr

Quotes from the #linuxfr's chan.

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune linuxfr
<guigui> ah mais fabuleux
<guigui> un mec de mon labo qui me sort "si t'as rien à faire tu peux nous aider"
<jb> en même temps 
<jb> t'es sur IRC 
<guigui> away

fortune-mod-simpson-fr

Quotes in french from TV series "The Simpsons".

User terminal 48px.png
$ fortune simpson
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